Monday, August 20, 2012

REGARDLESS



As I was rocking my little Fred last night, something that in the past sixteen months has brought such joy to my evenings, I couldn't help but to wonder how much longer I would be able to soak up this moment.  When will my voice or lap no longer be his personal haven of choice?  I found myself trying to memorize every sound, like when he begins to hum underneath his passy as I sing.  Or the way he rubs his little chubby hands down my arm with a little pat every now and then.

My favorite nights are the ones where he is a little giggle monster and he will lay his little head on my chest and then pop it up and giggle and all I can see are his big ole lips smiling out of the sides of that passie and then he'll quickly burry his little head back into my chest only to repeat this cycle over and over.  Why doesn't this little game ever get old?  I'll tell you why, it is because the bond between a mother and her child is truly a gift that is incomparable to any other.  This tiny little being truly believes that you are the greatest person in the world.  He looks at you and sees shear perfection.  Your flaws are non existent and your hair is never out of place.  To him you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.  Your voice is that of an angel and those hands that gently pat his back as you rock him bring him comfort that no one else could.

I have always compared the love of God, in a sense, to the love a parent has for their children, and in lots of ways I still do, but I believe God's love for us can very clearly be seen in the eyes of a small child and the love they express towards their parents.  I think of days when my works have been few and my attitude has been "Mary Quite Contrary" and I look down in frustration at the dirty diaper I am about to change and wouldn't you know it a smile breaks out across that sweet childs face.  This smile says Mommy, I love you... REGARDLESS, I love you... NO MATTER WHAT, I love you... EVEN IF YOU FAIL, I love you.  Jesus says in Isaiah 54:10 "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

So tonight as I begin the routine of rocking my dear sweet Fred I will be reminded of the one who gave me this gift.  The one who continues to lavish me with His love every day in ways I could never imagine, through avenues I could have never hoped for, and even on days when I feel so beyond unworthy before the throne of God.  Tonight as I sing to you dear Fred, I will sing out Praise to my God.  I will say Jesus, I LOVE YOU...REGARDLESS, I LOVE YOU...NO MATTER WHAT, I LOVE YOU...EVEN THOUGH I HAVE FAILED, I WILL LOVE YOU!

Jil


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